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Q: What should I do if cynicism grows due to an unhealthy culture?
A: There are five things you should do, i.e.,
1. You Must Promote Openness.
Do:
Be truthful in a manner that others can confirm for themselves.
State your intention.
Be sincere and honest.
Be honest and upfront.
Over-disclose everything if possible.
Be honest when you can't be transparent (for example, when the law or ethical standards forbid it).
Work under the guiding principle "what you see is what you get."
Don't:
Withhold knowledge, conceal it, cover it up, or obscure it.
Possessing hidden motives, secret intentions, or hidden goals.
Impersonating others and making things seem different from how they really are.
Pretending.
Appearing, as opposed to being.
Say:
My goal is...
My plan is...
I'm going to be honest and open about this.
This is who we are as a team...
What I want to happen is...
Here are the truths...
Here are the facts...
In case you disagree with me...
This is all I can say because of law and compliance issues...
Right now, things aren't going well.
2. You Must Be Honest and Straight.
Do:
Be truthful. Tell the reality.
Be clear about your position.
Talk in plain words. Call things as they are.
Display integrity.
Don't:
Lie. Deceive.
Alter the truth. Withholding details. Influence people.
Use business jargon, avoidance tactics, double-talk, and flattery.
Twisting the truth (manipulating, positioning, and posing).
Create false impressions (by stating the facts, but in a misleading way).
Say:
This is how I see things...
This is something I really care about...
Here's what I think we should do...
As far as I can tell, these are the facts...
From my point of view...
I value our relationship and want to be honest with you...
I want to be candid with you...
Let me tell you what I've observed...
Here's what I've learned/understood...
3. You Must Face Reality.
Do:
Face problems squarely, including taboo ones.
Recognize the unspoken.
Deal with challenging issues head-on.
Address problems before they become more serious.
Take the initiative in discussions.
Confront the situation, not the person.
Don't:
Sidestep the actual problem.
Bury your head firmly in the sand.
Act as though reality doesn't exist or ignore it.
Act with denial.
Making an effort to face reality while really avoiding it.
Paying more attention to minor problems than to important ones.
Say:
Let's be realistic.
What should be said but not?
I don't think we're talking about what we should, which is...
What are the biggest opportunities/problems/challenges we face?
What is the truth of the matter?
What will happen if we ignore these problems?
We are adults. We can get through this.
Tell me the truth.
What are the taboos here?
When you do this, it makes me feel...
If you do this, it will have the following effect on the team/organization/stakeholders…
4. You Must Fulfil Your Commitments.
Do:
State your intentions clearly and follow through on them.
Be cautious when making promises (especially implicit ones) and uphold them at all costs.
Make honoring promises a mark of your character.
Don't:
Breach pledges or commitments.
Break their trust and lose their confidence.
Try to use public relations to get out of a promise you've breached.
Making too many promises and not keeping them.
Being lax about commitments.
Making so unclear and imprecise pledges that you cannot be held accountable.
Not making any commitments because you are afraid of breaking them.
Say:
Will I be glad I kept this promise instead of that one in ten years?
Do I really want to make this promise?
Am I going to do this?
I'll...
I'll do...
I promise to...
I commit to…
You can count on me to...
This is why I'm making this promise...
I promise to deliver by...
I'm ready to make this new commitment, but we've already agreed on other commitments. Which one should I put off or stop so I can deal with this?
5. You Must Protect Others.
Do:
Give other people credit.
Talk about people as if they were in the room with you.
Speak up for people who can't speak for themselves.
If you have to talk about others, make sure your intent is clear and justified.
Kill gossip immediately.
Don't:
Let people down / betray people.
Having two faces: it looks like you're giving credit to other people when they're there, but when they're not, you downplay their role and take the credit yourself.
Talking nicely to people in front of them but saying bad things about them behind their backs.
Gossiping. Share private information about other people.
Say:
I'd like to thank [[name]] for this achievement.
You did a great job. I'll make sure that [[name]] knows about it.
Thank you so much for your great help.
When this person is here, we should talk about this.
I'd rather talk to her face-to-face than talk about her.
How should we talk to this person about what's going on?
What is in this person's best interest?
It sounds like you need to talk straight to [[name]].
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