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Q: What should I do if I am wrongfully blamed for something?
A: There are five things you should do, i.e.,
1. You Must Promote Openness.
Do:
Be truthful in a manner that others can confirm for themselves.
State your intention.
Be sincere and honest.
Be honest and upfront.
Over-disclose everything if possible.
Be honest when you can't be transparent (for example, when the law or ethical standards forbid it).
Work under the guiding principle "what you see is what you get."
Don't:
Withhold knowledge, conceal it, cover it up, or obscure it.
Possessing hidden motives, secret intentions, or hidden goals.
Impersonating others and making things seem different from how they really are.
Pretending.
Appearing, as opposed to being.
Say:
My goal is...
My plan is...
I'm going to be honest and open about this.
This is who we are as a team...
What I want to happen is...
Here are the truths...
Here are the facts...
In case you disagree with me...
This is all I can say because of law and compliance issues...
Right now, things aren't going well.
2. You Must Be Honest and Straight.
Do:
Be truthful. Tell the reality.
Be clear about your position.
Talk in plain words. Call things as they are.
Display integrity.
Don't:
Lie. Deceive.
Alter the truth. Withholding details. Influence people.
Use business jargon, avoidance tactics, double-talk, and flattery.
Twisting the truth (manipulating, positioning, and posing).
Create false impressions (by stating the facts, but in a misleading way).
Say:
This is how I see things...
This is something I really care about...
Here's what I think we should do...
As far as I can tell, these are the facts...
From my point of view...
I value our relationship and want to be honest with you...
I want to be candid with you...
Let me tell you what I've observed...
Here's what I've learned/understood...
3. You Must Make Expectations Clear.
Do:
Reveal and disclose expectations.
Examine and confirm expectations.
If feasible and necessary, renegotiate expectations.
Don't:
Go against expectations. Break what people expect.
Assume that everyone has the same or clear expectations.
Guessing. Pretending you know for sure what a person expects.
Leave expectations open-ended or ambiguous.
Not establishing the needed details (i.e., what the expected results, deadlines, and required resources) that make the expectation real.
Failing to write down the expectations. Relying on situational expectations, which can change based on memory, interpretation, understanding, or recent incident.
Do something unrelated to the expectation, then adjust the expectation based on the outcome of the unrelated action.
Say:
Exactly what do you want me to give you? How soon?
How do you know if you've been successful? How will we know if we've done our job?
What do we care about the most: speed, quality, or cost?
What resources do you need to make this happen?
What will we do next, and when?
How and when will we follow up?
What do you think you've understood from this talk?
Does anyone else need to know this?
What do you think you should do next?
What do you think I should do next?
Things are different now. We should look over what we expect...
4. You Must Take Accountability.
Do:
Take responsibility for your actions. Be the first one to hold yourself accountable.
Own the results, whether they are good or bad.
Hold others accountable only after you hold yourself accountable.
Figure out how you will communicate how you are doing and how others are doing.
Don't:
Refusing to accept accountability or fess up. Avoid or abdicate accountability, as in, it's not my fault.
When anything goes wrong, accuse someone else or point the finger, such as "It's his fault, it's her fault, or it's their fault."
Not holding people accountable when expectations are not reached.
Say:
Here's what I did...
I am responsible for…
Please come back and let me know how you're doing by...
How will we make ourselves responsible?
What will happen if we don't follow through?
How and when will we check in to see how things are going?
Here's what you can expect.
How did we do?
I thought we would finish this by [[due date]]...
I'll be accountable for that.
Don't blame the team, blame me.
Did we get the results we were supposed to?
5. You Must Fulfil Your Commitments.
Do:
State your intentions clearly and follow through on them.
Be cautious when making promises (especially implicit ones) and uphold them at all costs.
Make honoring promises a mark of your character.
Don't:
Breach pledges or commitments.
Break their trust and lose their confidence.
Try to use public relations to get out of a promise you've breached.
Making too many promises and not keeping them.
Being lax about commitments.
Making so unclear and imprecise pledges that you cannot be held accountable.
Not making any commitments because you are afraid of breaking them.
Say:
Will I be glad I kept this promise instead of that one in ten years?
Do I really want to make this promise?
Am I going to do this?
I'll...
I'll do...
I promise to...
I commit to…
You can count on me to...
This is why I'm making this promise...
I promise to deliver by...
I'm ready to make this new commitment, but we've already agreed on other commitments. Which one should I put off or stop so I can deal with this?
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