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Q: What should I do if I need to establish rapport with my work colleagues?
A: There are five things you should do, i.e.,
1. You Must Show Respect.
Do:
Really cared about other people.
Show you care.
Give everyone (regardless of their position) the respect they deserve.
Show respect to everyone, including those who can't help you.
Do small acts of kindness.
Don't:
Not care about other people or show any respect for them.
Fake caring: acting like you care when you don't.
Respecting or caring about some people (those who can help you) but not others (those who can't).
Try to be efficient when talking with other people.
Say:
I admire and respect you.
I'm glad we get to work together.
Thanks for everything you do.
You're awesome at...
One thing I like about you is...
What do you think?
How do you feel?
Tell us what you think.
You have a different view of things. I need to hear you out.
I respect your position/authority/ strong opinion on this.
2. You Must Promote Openness.
Do:
Be truthful in a manner that others can confirm for themselves.
State your intention.
Be sincere and honest.
Be honest and upfront.
Over-disclose everything if possible.
Be honest when you can't be transparent (for example, when the law or ethical standards forbid it).
Work under the guiding principle "what you see is what you get."
Don't:
Withhold knowledge, conceal it, cover it up, or obscure it.
Possessing hidden motives, secret intentions, or hidden goals.
Impersonating others and making things seem different from how they really are.
Pretending.
Appearing, as opposed to being.
Say:
My goal is...
My plan is...
I'm going to be honest and open about this.
This is who we are as a team...
What I want to happen is...
Here are the truths...
Here are the facts...
In case you disagree with me...
This is all I can say because of law and compliance issues...
Right now, things aren't going well.
3. You Must Get Things Done.
Do:
Create a proven record of accomplishment.
Do what has to be done. Get things done.
Complete the missions.
Deliver results on-time and within budget.
Don't:
Poor performance/failure to deliver.
Underpromise and overpromise.
Give justifications for failing to fulfill.
Delivering activities rather than outcomes/results.
Faking up work.
Working hard, but doing nothing productive.
Say:
What specific results do you want from us? How soon?
How will we know if we've done well?
What will happen as a result of this?
I promise to deliver... by [[the due date]].
This is what we said we would do, and it costs less than we planned.
We're all done. Did you expect something else?
Whatever it takes, we need to get these results.
Which one of these goals is most important?
4. You Must Fulfil Your Commitments.
Do:
State your intentions clearly and follow through on them.
Be cautious when making promises (especially implicit ones) and uphold them at all costs.
Make honoring promises a mark of your character.
Don't:
Breach pledges or commitments.
Break their trust and lose their confidence.
Try to use public relations to get out of a promise you've breached.
Making too many promises and not keeping them.
Being lax about commitments.
Making so unclear and imprecise pledges that you cannot be held accountable.
Not making any commitments because you are afraid of breaking them.
Say:
Will I be glad I kept this promise instead of that one in ten years?
Do I really want to make this promise?
Am I going to do this?
I'll...
I'll do...
I promise to...
I commit to…
You can count on me to...
This is why I'm making this promise...
I promise to deliver by...
I'm ready to make this new commitment, but we've already agreed on other commitments. Which one should I put off or stop so I can deal with this?
5. You Must Protect Others.
Do:
Give other people credit.
Talk about people as if they were in the room with you.
Speak up for people who can't speak for themselves.
If you have to talk about others, make sure your intent is clear and justified.
Kill gossip immediately.
Don't:
Let people down / betray people.
Having two faces: it looks like you're giving credit to other people when they're there, but when they're not, you downplay their role and take the credit yourself.
Talking nicely to people in front of them but saying bad things about them behind their backs.
Gossiping. Share private information about other people.
Say:
I'd like to thank [[name]] for this achievement.
You did a great job. I'll make sure that [[name]] knows about it.
Thank you so much for your great help.
When this person is here, we should talk about this.
I'd rather talk to her face-to-face than talk about her.
How should we talk to this person about what's going on?
What is in this person's best interest?
It sounds like you need to talk straight to [[name]].
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