This article is part of the Manager’s Guide series. To read other articles in this series, please go to the main blog page, click the filter button, and select the Manager’s Guide category.
Q: What should I do if my boss lacks confidence in me?
A: There are five things you should do, i.e.,
1. You Must Listen Hard.
Do:
Pay attention.
Listen before you talk.
Know and figure out what's wrong.
Use your ears, eyes, and heart to listen.
Find out what the people you work with think are the most important things you can do.
Don't:
Talk first, then listen.
Not listen at all.
Think you know what's most important to other people.
Think you know everything or have all the answers.
Listening but not getting it.
Listening only to figure out what to say next.
Only caring about your own plans.
Pretending to listen.
Say:
What I think I hear you say is...
Let me make sure I understand what you're trying to say...
Let's figure out what the group is trying to say...
Is there anything else you would like to say?
You feel [[unhappy, energized, annoyed, discouraged, baffled, spiteful, angry, confused, surprised, unsure, excited, etc.]] about the [[content, topic, or meaning of what is being said]].
First, I want to understand your point of view, and then I'll explain mine.
2. You Must Make Expectations Clear.
Do:
Reveal and disclose expectations.
Examine and confirm expectations.
If feasible and necessary, renegotiate expectations.
Don't:
Go against expectations. Break what people expect.
Assume that everyone has the same or clear expectations.
Guessing. Pretending you know for sure what a person expects.
Leave expectations open-ended or ambiguous.
Not establishing the needed details (i.e., what the expected results, deadlines, and required resources) that make the expectation real.
Failing to write down the expectations. Relying on situational expectations, which can change based on memory, interpretation, understanding, or recent incident.
Do something unrelated to the expectation, then adjust the expectation based on the outcome of the unrelated action.
Say:
Exactly what do you want me to give you? How soon?
How do you know if you've been successful? How will we know if we've done our job?
What do we care about the most: speed, quality, or cost?
What resources do you need to make this happen?
What will we do next, and when?
How and when will we follow up?
What do you think you've understood from this talk?
Does anyone else need to know this?
What do you think you should do next?
What do you think I should do next?
Things are different now. We should look over what we expect...
3. You Must Get Things Done.
Do:
Create a proven record of accomplishment.
Do what has to be done. Get things done.
Complete the missions.
Deliver results on-time and within budget.
Don't:
Poor performance/failure to deliver.
Underpromise and overpromise.
Give justifications for failing to fulfill.
Delivering activities rather than outcomes/results.
Faking up work.
Working hard, but doing nothing productive.
Say:
What specific results do you want from us? How soon?
How will we know if we've done well?
What will happen as a result of this?
I promise to deliver... by [[the due date]].
This is what we said we would do, and it costs less than we planned.
We're all done. Did you expect something else?
Whatever it takes, we need to get these results.
Which one of these goals is most important?
4. You Must Take Accountability.
Do:
Take responsibility for your actions. Be the first one to hold yourself accountable.
Own the results, whether they are good or bad.
Hold others accountable only after you hold yourself accountable.
Figure out how you will communicate how you are doing and how others are doing.
Don't:
Refusing to accept accountability or fess up. Avoid or abdicate accountability, as in, it's not my fault.
When anything goes wrong, accuse someone else or point the finger, such as "It's his fault, it's her fault, or it's their fault."
Not holding people accountable when expectations are not reached.
Say:
Here's what I did...
I am responsible for…
Please come back and let me know how you're doing by...
How will we make ourselves responsible?
What will happen if we don't follow through?
How and when will we check in to see how things are going?
Here's what you can expect.
How did we do?
I thought we would finish this by [[due date]]...
I'll be accountable for that.
Don't blame the team, blame me.
Did we get the results we were supposed to?
5. You Must Continuously Improve.
Do:
Keep getting better.
Get better at what you can do.
Never stop learning.
Use both formal and informal channels for getting feedback.
Do something with the feedback you get.
Thank people for sharing their feedback.
Don't:
Deteriorate.
Become complacent/useless/irrelevant/out of date.
Think of yourself as better than feedback.
Assume that your today's knowledge and skills will be enough for the challenges and difficulties of tomorrow.
Making changes that are "hot" temporarily but don't last.
Always learning but never producing anything.
Talking a lot about how you want to get better but never doing it.
Trying to make everything fit into what you're good at.
Say:
Where can I get better?
How am I doing these days? Where can I get help?
What particular things (systems, structures, procedures) must we improve?
How are we currently doing?
What advantages would this improvement bring? What are the disadvantages of inaction?
How will we get consistent feedback?
How likely are you, on a scale of one to 10, to tell others about our product or service? Why?
We appreciate your feedback and will take action on it.
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